Days 11-12/ 730

I still have not been properly tracking or organizing my days. Still keeping up with yoga. I did take a break my usual plant based focussed diet to enjoy some ice-cream yesterday. It was okay but I really didn’t enjoy it the way I should because deep down I am over eating heavily processed food. So even when I am consuming it – I am not really able to enjoy it. The next time I choose to indulge – it will be because I really really want to. šŸ™‚ But lesson learned: my soul and body wants to be nourished with natural foods. So this is something I will attempt to focus on (allowing dairy occasionally) over the course of this 730 Day Challenge. I am still keeping up with and enjoying my daily walks. The goal is to get atleast 10K steps a day. I have still been keeping up with blogging. I have not been in the flow to track my days but I’m going to try and get into the flow of doing that starting next week.

Highlight of today: One of my plants has come back to life after my housekeeper had given up on it. I refused to let it die. I moved it to a spot where I knew from previous experience that it could flourish. I watered it from top to bottom by sprinkling drops of water on the whole plant including the dead parts and I was so happy to see today that it has started coming back to life. It just goes to show that if you don’t give up, you can revive any living thing. Honestly, it broke my heart a little. For some reason, right now, I feel like a dying plant. I’m alive but sometimes I feel dead. There is something missing from my life. I am so blessed. There is so much I have to be thankful for. There is so much I am truly grateful for. What I am seeking now is not anything worldly. I just really feel like my life is lacking in some things that money can never buy. I do know why I feel this way but I do not want to say it openly on this blog in the fear that someone I know could happen across it and come to know an intimate thing about me. There are just some emotions I need to work through. Sometimes, I feel as though I am broken. I am living but not really living. There is something eating away at me. I’ve gone to counselling. I’ve cried over it. I’ve talked about it. I’ve obsessed over it. Sometimes I feel the only way to cope is if I blog openly and honestly about what I feel. But that also seems like a scary thing to do. Anyways, that is still something I am pondering and hopefully I will soon figure out an outlet for my feelings. For now, looking at my plant come back to life gives me hope and motivation for my life. Even if I feel dead inside right now (I do feel alive when I do yoga), there is hope. I can still work through the difficult thoughts and emotions and find a way to really be alive.

Thank for for reading. I’ll try to be back tomorrow.

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