Day 251/ 365
So my ultimate goal is to launch a beautiful blog (a new one). I’ve already bought the domain (www.breathelovenourish.com). I even wrote and published my first post last weekend. Yesterday, I removed it because although it was published, I hadn’t shared the blog with anyone yet and now I wasn’t feeling what I wrote last weekend. I feel like maybe I am rushing into launching my new blog. I haven’t even figured out what theme I want. A bit more work is required before I can feel confident enough to launch it. For example, I feel so comfortable and confident blogging on this blog and I just haven’t felt the same comfort on my new blog yet. I guess that’s also due to upgrading to wordpress.org (from wordpress.com) which is a bit more complicated. I think I am going to continue with this blog for another 4 months to give myself ample time to get all the basics down for my new blog. I will launch breathelovenourish.com on May 31st as a 28th birthday gift to myself. Until then, I will continue blogging here. It will be nice to close the chapter to jasdeepsjourney after completing the 365 day challenge I had started on my last birthday. And then with a new birthday it can be the start of a new beginning for me on a new blog.
Diet updates: I’ve been following a whole foods plant based diet since January 16th. So that’s a full 3 weeks. I am happy to report that it’s been a very easy transition. I feel very good about myself and with my decision which helps to continue on the journey. At first, on January 16th, I was trying to make the decision to do everything at once (eliminate dairy, sugar and processed foods at the same time). However, that was a bit too ambitious. That’s a lot of changes all at once. So now that I have successfully managed to remove dairy from my diet for 3 weeks and feel completely comfortable and confident with this; I am now moving on to phase 2 of a whole foods plant based diet. This time, I will also eliminate sugar and processed food to focus on whole plant based foods. During these past 3 weeks, i’ve cheated twice. Once because my mom made kardi (which contains yogurt) and completely forgot about my diet! Which was funny because for days before that she made an effort to cook for me without ghee (butter). Anyways, she had cooked with a lot of love and I made the exception that day to eat kardi (just for one meal). Since I was cheating anyways that day, I also sneaked in a couple pieces of chocolate to take full advantage of my cheat day… haha. And another day, we were at a client’s home and they served us gulab jamans. In my head, upon seeing the gulab jaman’s, I had already made a decision to eat them (and I was so excited). I later realized they are not vegan. However that was not enough time to process what this meant. If you know me, you know that gulab jaman’s are the 2nd love of my life. First: pizza (which I had already mentally prepared myself for cheese-less pizza). 2nd: gulab jaman’s (which I hadn’t had the chance to mentally prepare myself to let go of). And so I indulged. Just 1 gulab jaman. Oh man. I cannot describe how delicious it was and how much it was worth it. Yuuuummy. I am happy to say that it was so satisfying that after allowing myself to enjoy it that day (without feelings of guilt), I have now been able to move on. I have the memory of my last gulab jaman which was so damn delicious. I am over it now so I can move on to give this whole foods plant based diet a real shot. Although I had never said that this diet will be forever (although I do hope that the benefits will be so enormous to my health that I won’t even want to go back to a non whole foods plant based diet) – I do intend to give it a real shot for atleast 6 months to a year to properly assess the impacts of this diet to my health. Another thing I have been able to enjoy a LOT during these past 3 weeks is bali bbq soy nuggets from Whole Foods Market. I gotta say – these nuggets are something out of this world. Although I imagine that they are heavily processed – it’s been fun to eat them. Today, as I was thinking about my diet and which diet I wish to follow long-term, I mentally made a decision to focus 100% of my personal diet on whole plant based foods. However, when there are special occasions and get togethers – that’s when I will allow myself sugar and processed foods (if needed and as long as it’s still vegan). Vegan is definitely easier than whole foods plant based. Anyways, these are all the things going on in my head. I don’t know exactly how everything will pan out. But let’s just say that I am truly ready to love and nourish my body, mind and soul through diet. I’ve also indulged in vegan ice cream these past couple weeks. I have a supportive and loving husband. Everyone shows love in their own ways. Once he learned about my intention to be vegan, he showed his love by buying a bunch of vegan food for me which included 2 cartons of ice-cream. He missed out on the non-processed foods bit… haha. Well it was a fun phase of life. Eating vegan icecream. I didn’t miss the milk at all!! It’s amazing the number of options in the market available for vegans. Makes me truly happy that you can still enjoy ice-cream and at the same time be happy that no cows suffered to make this ice-cream. Although I always chose WFPB for health reasons, I can’t lie and say it doesn’t help to think of the animals I am not causing any suffering to with my choices. That part definitely helps with my decision.
Life updates: I’ve been a bit sluggish. I guess wanting to launch a new blog was kind of getting in the way of me focusing on the present. Not only that, I’ve emotionally been engrossed with following the farmers protest which kind of took a toll on my mental health. Seeing the Indian government do the things they’ve been doing is quite traumatizing. I like to see the good in people. But how is it possible to see the good in people who don’t give a damn about basic human rights? It’s not. It’s been breaking my heart little by little reading some of the things written by the Modi-supporters out there. Peoples lack of concern to what the farmers are going through, specifically bollywood horrifies me. Due to issues with my mental health, I choose to live in my own bubble. The world is very scary so sometimes I pretend that part of the world doesn’t exist. However, these farmers are my people. India is my country. This issue is very close to my heart and I have been investing my time and emotions with doing my part in supporting the farmers protest. This has obviously made me aware of the reality of the world. One which I usually choose to ignore and pretend everything is okay (to preserve my mental health). This has been hard. I sit in complete disbelief for hours with my eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with sorrow because it is so hard to fathom the cruelty and greed of some humans. It’s way too much for my heart to process.. I believe in simple things. Breathing. Love. Nourishing – mind, body, soul. These are the things I think about and surround myself with 24/7. So to get out of the bubble that I choose to live in is hard. I am an empath and highly sensitive person and that’s something I live with. Since I was a little girl, even hearing a story about someone else’s pain used to make me cry in pain as if it was my pain. This is a part of me I haven’t been able to properly process. My coping strategy has been – ignore and pretend. Repeat. Needless to say, I am feeling quite overwhelmed at the moment. But I need to pull myself together to focus on breathe, love & nourish. The change I want to see in the world begins with me. I truly believe that by changing ourselves we will contribute in changing the world. I will leave it here today!
Thank you for reading.