Finding motivation (and staying motivated) is hard

Day 182/ 365

Keeping myself motivated has definitely not been easy. What’s the point of getting up when I rather sleep? Really, what’s the point of carrying on when you are too tired and you rather sleep? Why even go through things on your to-do list? What am I working for? What are even my rewards? These are the things going through my head this morning (and for the past several days). Some days I wake up motivated. Some days, I don’t. I have found several ways to motivate myself over the past year(s). I just haven’t found a way to be consistent yet. For example, I had a *very good* day this past Monday (I blogged about it) but then I got kind of exhausted and couldn’t keep up with the enthusiasm for the next several days. I had a very good day followed with having very less than average next several days. It wasn’t a good balance. Balance, consistency: these are very important. I guess when I am feeling like this, it’s only a matter of taking a pause and just asking myself these questions and finding the answers from within. Because the truth is I do consider myself one of the lucky ones who actually takes out time to know and understand myself. I take time to actually analyze my life, where I am, where I want to be, etc. It’s just a matter of closing my eyes taking a deep breathe in and out and it all comes back.

I wake up because I have things to do. Things that make me happy. Things that will improve my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. I know what I want. I know my areas of interest. Self-improvement is a huge passion interest of mine and I want to focus on this. Become a true embodiement of self-improvement by researching, learning, implementing, setting goals, working hard to accomplish them, staying motivated, not giving up, picking myself up and starting again as many times as it takes etc. I know what my rewards are (short-term and long-term). Short-term: a long vacation (however long my heart fancies) to a beautiful island immediately after Covid. Long-term: a life with lesser office/business work obligations and more freedom, more time. Hopefully enough more time for starting a family of with my husband. Other rewards: Confidence. Better health (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual). Happiness. Satisfaction with my own life. Self-respect. Being someone who’s gained the skills, knowledge, confidence and ability to actually help others.

A lifelong dream of mine (since kindergarten) has been to be a teacher. And for me teaching is really just about having the opportunity to spread joy, love, positivity, peace in the world. To have the opportunity to make a difference to someone’s life. To make someone smile. To be able to help someone. So that’s really my motivation for waking up. I am doing what needs to get done. I am making the best out of the work situation that God meant for me to be in while managing my health at the same time.

And why should I not go back to sleep? Because that’s not responsible (unless of course I didn’t get enough sleep in the first place). There will be tremendous rewards but I need to do the work. Hard work is necessary (in fact it’s a skill that can be mastered through practice). It’s a skill I am excited to master. I’ve always respected people who work hard. I want to gain more self-respect. I want to figure myself out. Figure out my goals. I want to fix my health. Increase my energy. Get organized. Get better emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Become more positive. Learn to manage stress, anxiety, emotions and fluctuations. Become consistent. Make the most out of life as possible! To be honest, it’s as simple as that. You can’t make the most out of life by excess sleeping. To make the most out of life, you gotta get out of bed and start living.

Today/tomorrow also happens to be an important milestone of my 365 day challenge that I started on June 1st. 182 days down, 183 days left. Tomorrow is the middle day of this challenge – time for a bit more reflection. I have exactly half of the duration of the challenge left. Before I always knew that I had a lot of time to make improvements in my life. But the time has gone by very quick. I’ve gone through half a year!! Now it’s time to step it up a notch. I always had more time left than how much time had passed. Now, I will have less days left and more days down. So that’s reason enough to keep myself motivated. Looking forward to the journey 🙂

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