Day 129/ 365
Everyday that I get to live is a gift. 129 days down, still 236 to go. It gives me immense happiness that I still have a lot of days to go in this challenge to be able to really make a change. There is motivation to want to do better since I am not feeling rushed. Before I was living in a world where I was never able to say ‘I have enough time.’ But today I am saying I have enough time. I have so much time to keep trying so even if one day or week or weeks is not perfect – I have the opportunity to pick myself up and just try again. I was generous with myself to give myself a year to get to a better place mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I am happy with this approach because I allow myself to live. I have the right thought right now: the time is enough. I allow myself to have bad days. I allow myself to take it easy and not rush to be perfect right now at this moment. But overall I am living with an intention to get better and be better and to make progress with myself and my life. For the next 236 days, it is my intention to just get better with everyday. Work hard. Be positive. Go for walks. Go for hot yoga. Cook. Try to manage as much as I can with the time that I have and if certain things don’t get done – be okay with that. I have already made a great amount of progress with my life, but I still have a long way to go. But I am also very happy and grateful for the progress that I have made.
I have learned so much. About myself, about others. I know more. I am better and getting better with everyday. I am getting so many answers to so many questions that I had. I am figuring out ways to just let go of what no longer serves me. I am not perfect but I am trying and that’s what matters. The intention. The effort. The progress.
I’ve also learned that everything is in my head. I control my life and I can make anything happen. Whatever I want to be true is what I can make happen. Whatever I tell myself, either is or will become *true*. So I am (trying my best) telling myself positive things. It’s working. I am a genuinely happy person (atleast right now :)). No expectations from anyone. No anger. No resentment. No bitter feelings. No sadness… maybe a tiny bit deep down but right now, there is not any. There is just genuine love and acceptance of my circumstances. There is hope and faith. Positivity. Good intentions. I am a bit exhausted from wanting (non-material) things I don’t have. But that’s it. I realized it’s exhausting to want things that God maybe doesn’t want to give me right now. So instead, I choose acceptance. And acceptance has lead to many positive things. Happiness. Freedom. Self-respect. Self-love. Self-worth. So other then being tired (I hope this is not a negative emotion/feeling) – I have no other thoughts, feelings or emotions that can be considered negative at this point (in my personal life). For this – I am very grateful today. Please God continue to guide me. Thank you for all your love ❤