Day 68-78/ 365

Friday Aug 7th – Monday Aug 17th

So for the last 10 days, I didn’t quite make the effort to post but I’ve been doing very good. I went for morning hot yoga almost everyday. I’ve been following a plant based whole foods (and gluten free) diet completely and successfully. I have consumed no sugar at all except fruits and a bit of maple syrup (just made some chocolate peanut butter balls yesterday because after about a month of being so good, I totally deserved something delicious and satisfying). Today, a new employee joined our accounting team who will share atleast 50% of my workload. I recently also have a new housekeeper who is helping me out with cleaning and some personal errands on a daily basis. I love cooking but it’s the cleaning that I find the most difficult so it just helps to have an extra hand with everything I try to do by myself. I used to judge myself very harshly for not being as super and talented as my mom who managed to work a very difficult full-time labour job, cook and put food on the table 365 days of the year, manage the house completely by herself including ironing all of my dads clothes, complete cleaning of the house, taking care of 4 kids, and just everything possible you can think of. I don’t think she had ever taken a moment for herself. It was always go-go-go and do-do-do with no break and no personal time. It has been hard for me to not be able to live up to who she was. I can’t even do or be 1/10th of the super woman she was and still is. Sometimes I end up judging myself harshly because I am not able to meet my own expectations of myself – even though no one else expects me to be as incredible and super as my mom. It’s just me occasionally wondering why I can’t do as much or work as fast. I am trying to be more self-loving towards myself. I am finally letting myself know that it’s okay. I am allowed to have a different lifestyle than my mom. I am allowed to have help as needed. She did her absolute best considering her circumstances. All I want to expect of myself is to do my absolute best considering my circumstances. At the end of the day, I think the energy really does come from your circumstances. I strongly believe that mothers are not born with super-powers. But as they are put into difficult circumstances, they are also blessed with an energy to help them manage their life and their responsibilities. I am doing the best with my life and responsibilities and I will continue to strive to do the best that I can. I will also stop judging myself harshly and expecting me to be more like someone else because that’s not fair to my soul.

That’s about it for now. Will come back later to share some recipes and more. I expect to be more devoted to my blog in the near future since I will have allocated my work responsibilities among our staff.

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